Moving on after divorce is always difficult, no matter who pulled the trigger on your marriage or why. You will go through a rollercoaster of emotions that range from hurt to anger, from guilt to relief. However, eventually, you will find the courage to move on with your life.
Here are a few ideas for moving on to help you emerge a stronger, happier and better person after divorce.
Grieve
If you are wondering how to start anew after divorce, you should know that grief is the first sign of healing. No matter who badly you wanted the divorce, it still represents the end of a relationship that you entered into with much hope and joy. Emotions such as pain, anger, grief, and remorse are natural. Allowing yourself to feel your true emotions and express them in a constructive manner will help you speed up the recovery process.
Take care of yourself
Divorce can be physically and emotionally taxing, which is why you need to take extra care of yourself during this period. Make sure your after divorce steps include healthy habits like regular exercise, proper diet and adequate rest.
Surround yourself with positivity
Avoid energy vampires who will only pull you down with their negativity. Instead, cultivate your relationships with safe, positive and non-judgmental people who can accept you for whom you are. Surround yourself with people who motivate you and push you to be better.
Do things which inspire you
Did you let go of a lot of things you used to enjoy just because your spouse didn’t like them? If so, then now is a great time to indulge in the things you like again!
Forgive
Try to forgive yourself and your ex for the mistakes you made in your marriage. Until you practice genuine forgiveness, you will not be able to completely move on and be free or start a new relationship.
Be organized
Divorce changes many things in your life, which makes it doubly important for you to be well organized right now. Designate a safe place for storing your records, communications and legal documents so that you will never be caught unaware.
Make a plan
In spite of your best efforts, you may not always be able to control your thoughts and emotions. However, what you do with them is totally up to you. Avoid acting on impulse or when you are emotionally overwhelmed. Stalking your ex on social media or sending them texts in the middle of night is not going to help you with moving on after divorce. Nor will quitting your job or jumping into a new relationship. Make a plan to help you deal with such situations. For example, have a close friend on speed dial who you can talk to freely when you find yourself in danger of doing something completely irrational.
Set clear, realistic goals for moving on after divorce
Think about what you want to do after divorce and devise clear, realistic goals that can help you get there. Look at the big picture, but break it down into small, achievable steps and put it in writing.
Get help
Know that you don’t have to always go it alone. If you find it difficult to take steps for moving on after divorce or deal with your lingering emotions, talk to a trained therapist or join a support group.
Believe in yourself
Divorce can take a toll on your self-confidence and make you question your own decisions. However, believing in yourself is essential if you want to move on after divorce. Think positive and find the certainty that you will eventually move on from this painful phase and find happiness.
Following these steps to take after divorce will help you heal faster and reclaim your life. If you have been through a divorce or seen others go through one and have additional tips to add, please leave a comment below to let us know what you have seen work for yourself or others.