MyDivorcePapers Blog

We're here to make your life easier to manage and to help you begin your new start.

2 Post-Divorce Must-Do’sThe books, movies, and sitcoms about people finding themselves, and a new lover, after a divorce paints an idyllic picture of how most people would want their post-divorce life to go; fleeing to an exotic country, stumbling upon an electrifying romance with an uncannily gorgeous local, and living happily ever after. But that’s fantasy, so you might as well roll the credits, and wipe that ice cream off the side of your mouth. In reality, life after divorce is just like regular life, but now you’re the only adult walking around the house. It’s easy to fall prey to the materials that jazz up post-divorce life, but you can easily turn the tables with just a little bit of help.


These pieces of divorce advice may not include vacationing plans or a scintillating romance, but they will help get your life back on track and headed in a positive direction.

The Truth Will Set you Free

It’s what the woman in “Anne of Green Gables” always said, and it is prudent now. If you have children, the best thing for their growth and psychology, and your own, is to honestly discuss the family’s situation with them. Divorce is confusing enough for a child, but if both parents make the divorce an off-limits topic, the children will be further confused and insecure. Of course, the intimate details of the divorce (like who cheated with who) are not immediately pressing bits of information the child needs. But if your child has questions about the divorce, you should answer them as honestly as possible, and always end the discussion by reiterating that, no matter what, the child will always be loved by both parents.

It’s About You, Yourself, and You

Divorce marks a break in your life. A divorce may not be perceived as a clean break, but if you take this time to focus on you, it can be so clean it’s sterile. This piece of advice may be the hardest to follow, so be prepared. Blame, hate, and resentment are toxic pollutants that corrode your mind and soul, so try to face these feelings head on and get them out of your system. The usual advice says to just forgive, but blind forgiveness seems to promote a victim-mindset. So instead of just saying “I forgive you” and trying to moving on, take an active approach by searching within yourself what part you took in the marriage and divorce. If there are things you don’t like, set a goal for yourself to change those things. Don’t try to search for the root of why you do what you do, that will only lead to blaming your actions on your parents and upbringing. Acknowledge who you are, and what you do; if you don’t like it, try to change it. This is the most recuperative and cleansing thing you can do for yourself right now.

These two post-divorce must-do’s may not be as easy or glamorous as jet setting off to Bora Bora and shacking up with a scuba instructor, but think about this: After your post-divorce vacation, what (or who) are you planning on coming back home to? The fact is that marriage and divorce is a two-way street, and if you were unhappy in the marriage, chances are you are unhappy about something within yourself still. You may be unhappy that you were a push-over in the marriage, or that you were with someone who made you feel bad about yourself. Whatever led to your divorce, the feelings of rejection mixed with freedom makes this the perfect time to re-evaluate and come back as you, 2.0.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Home | Leadership Team | Help Center | Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions | Disclaimer

© 2014, All Rights Reserved.

Back to Top