Couples file for divorce for a variety of reasons, and while the explanations can often get a bit tricky, they usually boil down to four main causes — commonly referred to as “the fatal four” by divorce attorneys and relationship experts. These causes tend to stem from substance abuse, financial misconduct, spousal abuse, and infidelity. If your marriage is on the rocks, one of these culprits is probably why.
Substance Abuse
Often, the substance abuse is the fault of one party in the marriage, and it takes the form of alcohol abuse — not surprising since most drugs are illegal, while alcohol is more readily available. The confinement to one party in a marriage becomes obvious to the other, and it begins to impede the relationship. It can also cross over into other realms, leading to spousal abuse and infidelity. If your spouse has an alcohol problem, it can be difficult to save the marriage, especially when they won’t seek help. Unfortunately, many people, who do have issues with substance abuse, don’t see where there is an issue.
Financial Misconduct
Perhaps the biggest reason why people end up signing the divorce papers is financial misconduct. As with substance abuse, this problem is generally tilted toward one party being responsible and the other going on secret credit card spending sprees. Finances put undue pressure on a marriage, and it can unravel even the most loving of marriages. Most studies and experts agree that finances are still the number one struggle of most couples, and while the fault may very well lie with both parties, the parties don’t usually see it that way.
Spousal Abuse
Unfortunately, seeking out how to file for divorce is usually a good outcome to spousal abuse — definitely better than the alternative anyway. Men account for 85 percent of known abusers throughout the US, and their tendency to emotionally or physically abuse their spouses will stem from witnessing or being subject to abuse themselves as children. That abuse can often turn deadly in adulthood, and it can fall on the spouse, the children, or both. Leaving these situations is easier said than done, but it is possible if society continues to shed light on the problem.
Infidelity
Cheating may not be the most common of the fatal four, but it’s certainly one of the most difficult to work past. When one spouse cheats on another, it fractures the bond of trust — often irreparably — and leaves the victim feeling inadequate and insecure in the relationship.
Each of the fatal four can be difficult to overcome. In cases of physical and emotional abuse and infidelity, it’s usually best to not even try. If one has affected your marriage, and you’re ready to move on to the next chapter of life, we can help you do so at minimal expense of time and cost. Best of luck, whatever you decide!
Hi,
Although I do plan to divorce my wife. We both agreed to wait until this summer after our disabled son graduates from high school. I’m currently thinking of applying for divorce in September 2014 at which time I will finish registering with this site.
Thanks,
Ken