After you’ve decided to file for divorce, you may not immediately be thinking about a new serious relationship. However, you’ll get there and when you do, it can be challenging to navigate dating with your responsibilities as a parent. The sooner you realize these five truths, the easier it will be.
1. Not every date will be ready or willing for someone else’s children.
One of the hardest things for a single person with no parental or marriage experience to do is take a back seat to someone else’s child and the conflicts that can arise between said child’s divorced parents. If you and your spouse were unable to file divorce forms on your own due to heavy conflict, the tension and fighting may still happen afterward. To make it work, your new significant other can’t get too heavily involved. That’s a difficult reality for them to accept.
2. Not every date who is willing is ready.
As an extension of No. 1, some who find that they are ready for the honor of dating a divorced parent really aren’t. They start with the best of intentions, but for whatever reason — maybe they can’t bite their tongue when needed, they feel disrespected as an authority figure, or they just don’t know how to relate to children — it just doesn’t work.
3. You will sometimes have to cancel plans.
As a parent, your children have to be your first priority. Kids get sick or get in to trouble or command your attention in unexpected ways, and inevitably that will mean that you have to cancel a date from time to time. Don’t worry about what he or she might think about this. If they’re ready and willing, they will understand and you’ll still be able to make things work.
4. Your children may not be ready for your serious relationship.
Children do not immediately get over the divorce papers as quickly as you and your spouse. They can suffer long-lasting effects if mishandled that go well into adulthood. As such, you shouldn’t just rush in to a serious relationship or introduce your new partner to the child without first considering their feelings.
What truths have you had to face regarding dating as a divorced parent?