We have all heard the term “life lessons,” which are usually attributed to something we need to experience to get the necessary knowledge out of a particular situation. The very definition of experience tells us that we can’t prearrange for ourselves to learn it; it has to happen to us. So what does this idea have to do with marriage you ask?
Currently, the marriage to divorce ration is 2 to 1; so for every 2 marriages there is 1 divorce. How can so many marriages fail? What, if anything, can be done to decrease the number of divorces? It depends on how you look at marriage. In the internal sense, are we just conflicted humans? Is it in our nature to go through emotional “phases,” grasping emotionally to one person for a period of time, and then growing apart and moving on? Or is it more a practical situation? Is there something about marriage, or preparing for whatever it entails, that helps us “learn” how to maintain a long term successful relationship with one person?
Lack of Marital Understanding
The U.S. ranks #5 in the world for the highest divorce rate, according to the United Nations Statistics Division, which surveyed 200 countries. What is the reason behind the divorce rate being so high despite living in a country that is known to have no shortage of information or education resources? A lack of marital understanding seems to be a growing sentiment, from both people who have experience in failed marriage and experts who have researched the subject. There are classes for sciences, and technologies, and the study of human behavior, but there are actually no lessons taught to a young person about how to fulfill the role of a husband or wife. Many people might chuckle at the notion of a marriage class but given the continual failure of marriage in our society, what harm could any kind of increased preparedness for a life long journey do?
The Traditionally Ingrained
Of course there are many factors that go into the make-up of a person’s psyche when it comes to relationships and marriage. The tradition of marriage and the archetypal roles run so deep that although society changed in the past 200 years, we still struggle as a collective society to agree on these outward changes. Technology has increasingly changed the way we live our lives, and even the way we interact with each other and form relationships. Marriage traditions may seem more and more forced as people continually break the norm, whether it is in gender roles, ceremony, or the way they form and live out their relationships. It will always have a place in society, but the way we traditionally think of marriage has already started to crack under the pressure of modern times.
Whether it’s rooted in long lost aristocratic traditions, or rooted in the heart of our religion, the tradition of marriage has been ever-present for thousands of years. Sometimes taking the idea back to its basic roots actually lends it a more progressive tone. We all are looking to find another person to share our views of live with. After a long enough time, there will come a point in a relationship when we will feel the need to validate it. Marriage, in today’s society, can be much more complicated than just a validation; but when to comes down to it, we are all looking for the same thing on the same level. Preparing for a marriage by actual experience is not possible, trial by error is just ridiculous; so can we learn what it takes to succeed in a marriage and to avoid the situation of thinking about filing for divorce? Or is it out of our control? The floor is now open to comments, questions, and answers.