When you are betrayed by your spouse — whether through financial betrayal or sexual infidelity — you may want to do a bit more to get even than simply deciding to file for divorce. It’s understandable if you want to slash their tires, burn their baseball card collection, or get creative with their toothbrush. The urge for revenge is strong in humans. A whole sub-genre of action movie has been built up by the very idea.
But no matter how much you want to do some or all of those things to your spouse, stop right there. What you’re entertaining is a temporary thrill that will only make matters work and start an endless cycle of regret.
As the old saying goes, “The best revenge is living well.” Here’s how you can prepare to live well and put all of those things behind you.
Start with your emotional support unit.
Reconnect with good friends and family members, who will talk you off the ledge before letting you do anything stupid. If you have any of these overwhelming urges, tell them first so they can help you get to a calmer frame of mind. That may mean your bar or coffee tab goes up a bit for a month or two as you meet for drinks and hash out the ill will, but it’s well worth it when you have someone you can trust.
Begin focusing immediately on self-improvement.
Don’t even wait for the ink to dry on your divorce papers. But hold it, you may be thinking! My spouse betrayed me; I don’t need to change. Don’t get sucked in to this mindset. Self-improvement isn’t about validating your spouse’s betrayal. It’s about putting them behind you and moving on to something better in life. So start riding your bike. Play racquetball at the gym. Eat right. Run a marathon. Do all the things you’ve been putting off due to stress or laziness. It will lead to you looking better, feeling better, and living better.
Have you been able to overcome the urge for revenge on your spouse through some other means than the tips we’ve listed? Share your secrets in our comments section. We’d love to know more!