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Work With Your Ex for Post Divorce SuccessDivorced couples that have children are often in a tough situation. Even after all of the divorce proceedings have been finalized, your relationship is never over. Being a single parent can be tough enough, but not being to establish a workable co-parenting relationship with your ex can be severely detrimental to your child. There are ways to help both parents put their relationship behind them to focus on what is best for the child.


Changing the relationship status

The horror stories of ex-wives and husbands are well documented and numerous. Sometimes in the most horrible of situations kids are used as pawns or emotional chess pieces for the selfish benefit of a parent. However, many divorces are not structured this way.  Many negative situations  can be avoided if the parents can simply stay focused on the needs of the child.

Separating your past relationship from your new relationship with your ex can be challenging as well. Thinking of them more as a “parent partner” and not an emotional equal is easier said than done. One thing that you can do is not vent to your child. Therapy, a pet, close friends, and family are all better, more reasonable outlets for your frustrations. It’s understandable to be angry, bitter, or resentful. But do not let your emotions take over and rule your behavior. Remember why you need to stay focused and make try to make the best decisions. Keep a happy picture of you and your child around at all times for continual comfort for those times where your emotions or frustrations could boil over.

Communicating for your kids

Even though the marriage is over, the parenting is not. This is, in a way, a second chance to be successful with your ex to the mutual benefit of both of you. Creating a communicative, consistent, co-parenting operation can almost be seen like a business arrangement. There needs to be consistency, compromise, and communication. This is not about either of you, remember that. There is no winner or loser when it comes to raising a child. Here are some important tips to follow when setting up your co-parenting situation:

  1. Make requests not demands
  2. Keep the topics kid focused
  3. Listen
  4. Show restraint/willing to compromise
  5. Stay committed to consistency

A divorce can be a trying and stressful process. It’s impossible not to let your emotions get the better of you as your breaking away from a life you lived for a prolonged period of time. However when children are involved it is necessary to established a consistent and clear working relationship with your ex-spouse. Communication and compromise will not only allow you to begin to move on with your life, but will cut down on the immediate stress of functioning as a single parent. At we understand that divorce is often a necessary choice for many unhappy couples. We can answer many questions having to do with divorce laws as well as understanding and coping with the emotional changes that many recently divorced people will have to navigate.

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