MyDivorcePapers Blog

Many older people in our lives have been married for decades. In their time, divorce often was not an option. Social norms, expectations, and the culture were different. Thus, marriage truly usually was “forever.” Of course there was divorces, but the likelihood of it happening was less than it is today.

So shall we remain cynical? Do common wedding vows mean anything anymore? Does one of the most common wedding phrases, “till death do us part?” even mean anything anymore?

Well, according to some recent statistics, that question is a valid one to ask. According to the CDC, the divorce rate was at 26%. Today, the divorce rate is between 40% and 50%, according to the American Psychological Association. So in 65 years, it has almost doubled, by best estimates. Many speculate on the reasons behind these jumps, but we can all agree that they are disheartening to see.

The truth behind marriage is that it’s tough. It requires diligent work on a daily basis, like any other job or major commitment in your life. It isn’t something that always comes naturally. People change over time. They gain weight, they lose money, they grow old, and they change careers. That person that you decided to marry 10 years ago is probably somewhat different than the person you are married to now.

If you don’t want to take the necessary steps to work on your marriage, you will probably find yourself in a relationship that you no longer recognize. If you are married for the wrong reasons, or just feel bored, it’s time to start analyzing what steps you need to take next to move forward with your life. Is it worth it to stay? Do you want to remain true to your vows? Furthermore, how can you make sure that you don’t become a part of the bad statistics?

 

1. Marry for the right reasons. Make sure that you know why you are getting married, and don’t settle for less than you really want. Never marry someone for money. Imagine that person, regardless of material goods, in old age. Could you be with them? If not, then reconsider getting married.

 

2. Keep the romance alive. Once you get married, it’s easy to let the romance fall by the wayside. You don’t have to be Romeo everyday, but it’s important to keep things exciting and spontaneous. Plan an exciting trip for just the two of you. Go to a nice dinner and dress up. Bring flowers home, and not just for Mother’s Day. There are many ways you can keep the spark alive in your marriage.

 

3. If all else fails, go to counseling. Before you opt for divorce and start looking up easy divorce tips online, make every effort you can to maintain your marriage. Go to counseling with your partner to try and see if the problems between you are solvable. Each person needs to put in the necessary work in counseling. There is no “bad” partner and “good” partner. There is a reason the two of you are butting heads so much. In other words, it takes two to tango.

 

4. Mean it when you recite “till death do us part.” When you finally decide to marry your partner, think about this common marriage phrase and what it means to you. Make sure that when you say this to your partner, you truly mean it. It will be much better than facing the stress and heartbreak later on that comes from divorce.

 

 

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