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How Mother’s Manage Post-Divorce RelationshipsThe effects of divorce, especially on children, has been well documented. The divorce process is painful enough and often lingers on into other phases of our lives, but eventually we need to move on. Whether emotionally ready or not, we will all start thinking about what to do next. Human beings are complex biological organisms, and in this chaotic world it’s often hard to know when we are making the right decisions, or if we should trust ourselves enough to take another chance.


Mother’s Put to the Test

Relationships for mothers after filing for divorce embody this whole indecisive process. Mother’s often come away from divorce more indecisive than fathers when it comes to future trusting relationships. In a published study by the University of Texas at Austin this very scenario was looked at to see the mental process divorced mothers go through when attempting to find a partner after a divorce.

The study consisted of following 200 mothers with elementary school aged children beginning at the 2 month mark after they filed for divorce. A common question and scenario analyzed was the difference in the mother’s view of re-partnering versus the children’s view of their mother re-partnering. The key question taken away from the study was “Do parents believe that they and their child are a package deal?”

Willing to Jump?

Results of the study showed that 45% of the mothers were already in a relationship with a new partner. 26% of recently divorced mothers were interested in dating and 29% were not interested in dating. Two years after the first interview 86% of the divorced mothers reported some dating experience. 71% of the mothers were reported to be in a serious relationship while 24% reported a break-up of a serious relationship.

Inconsideration of the Children

Within this context the important psychological factor was the mindset of mothers towards their children in the expectations of re-partnering.  Do divorced mothers consider them and their child a “package deal” or does the mother view her re-partnering process, post-divorce, as an independent endeavor. Results showed how strong a mother-child bond can become after a divorce. 91% of the mothers reported that she and her child were a package deal. 65% reported that they would not marry someone their child did not like. In a slight contrast with more immediate repercussions, only 37% of the women stated that they would stop seeing someone that their child did not like. Maybe the most startling statistic was that only 18% of mothers stated that they would let their child talk them out of a relationship with a person that the child didn’t like.

The divorce process can hinder a mother’s instinct to naturally jumping back into the dating game. There are many factors to be considered when looking at the effects a divorce has on a mother-child relationship, like what the best way is to handle the post-divorce process of trying to find emotional stability in a relationship while still caring for the needs of a child. Questions about the divorce laws pertaining to child support and child custody can also take a toll not only on mothers but both parents going through the divorce process. At MyDivorcePapers we can help clarify any questions a mother or a father entering the divorce proceedings. Divorce can seem daunting enough without considering the residual effects on children and your own future relationships. Being prepared and knowing what to expect can go a long way to easing the mental stress and helping both parents, and children, prepare for life after divorce.

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