Finding love after you or your spouse have decided to file for divorce can be a difficult endeavor — one that is the furthest thing from your mind in the present. That’s normal. Don’t rush it, but don’t give up on it either. In a recent blog from Christina Rasmussen, she highlighted the 10 tips that helped her to find love after a divorce or a loss.
Among the recommendations: get fit, do what you love, take your time, and several others that are focused on self-improvement. It’s definitely worth a read, and you can check it out in full at this link, but the one we’d like to single out is this:
Know Your Potential Match
Not enough people take the time to really consider this option because they are so focused on improving themselves after the divorce forms are final. Unfortunately, when getting caught up in the self-help boom, we tend to put a little too much blame on ourselves for why things went sour.
No marriage is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. But if you don’t give the proper time and attention to the type of mate that you want, you’re liable to just go with the same personality type of your ex-husband or -wife. Big mistake.
They bore responsibility in the failings of your relationship, and you shouldn’t be out to find a carbon copy. So when Rasmussen suggests that you take the time to know your potential mate, we heartily agree.
“Now that you’re ready to date again,” Rasmussen writes, “you’ll want to know how to sift and sort through potential matches. To do this, think about how you want to feel when you’re in a relationship. Make a list of your five top emotions. For example, do you want to feel safe, acknowledged, understood, sexy, and joyous with a partner? Make your list. Now, think of who your future partner needs to be in order for you to feel those feelings. For example, in order for you to feel safe, does your partner need to be financially responsible, accountable, and loyal? Once you have your list, these become your must-haves. If a person doesn’t have your five must-haves, the relationship is probably not going to work no matter how strong the attraction.”
Keep this in mind as you reenter the dating world, and good luck!
Trying get a divorce I lived in Nj she lives in Va. How can I divorce her.