While the decision to end a marriage is never easy, this already-difficult process can become even more frustrating and complex if your partner doesn’t want a divorce. Hiring a divorce attorney may seem like the only way to get your intentions across, but it can also worsen the situation instead of getting your partner on the same page.
We take a close look at how you can stay strong during a divorce when your partner is unwilling to accept the reality that your marriage has ended.
Work through your inner conflict and guilt
It is normal to feel sad and depressed during divorce, even if you were the one who decided to leave. Most people go back and forth over the decision a thousand times before taking the final step. Working through your feelings will help you resolve your inner conflict and stick with your decision.
Also, if you feel guilty for being the one to end your marriage when your partner wants reconciliation, ask yourself if you are making the right decision for yourself and your kids. If the answer is yes, you have nothing to worry about. And think about it. Won’t you also be doing your partner a favor by setting him or her free from a loveless marriage?
Consider enlisting a professional
If your husband doesn’t want a divorce but you do, consider talking to a trained mediator or a couple’s counselor who can help both of you discuss your disagreement about getting a divorce in a constructive manner without letting your emotions get the better of you. If your partner is still holding on to the hope of reconciliation, a counselor can help him or her understand that the problems in your relationship and the inevitability of divorce.
Communicate
Effective communication can help you understand why your partner doesn’t want a divorce. For example, if the only reason why your wife doesn’t want a divorce is that she is afraid how she will take care of the house and the kids as a stay-at-home mom, you can assuage her concerns by reassuring her that the divorce terms will be fair and reasonable to both parties.
Most often than not, an open and heart-to-heart talk may be all you need to help your partner understand your reasons for wanting divorce.
Show compassion and understanding
You have thought about the divorce and evaluated your options for many months before deciding that there is no other way out. However, your partner had no idea what was coming. In the best case, he or she may have known that the marriage was on the rocks for a long time, but they may have been unaware that you were contemplating the final step. Resistance, anger and hurt are all normal in such situations.
Do not exert undue pressure on your spouse or try to speed up the divorce. Instead, give them enough time to process their emotions and come to terms with reality. Stay firm on your decision, but ask them how you can help them make a smoother transition.
When Your Partner Doesn’t Want a Divorce: A Quick Wrap-Up
We know that divorcing a reluctant partner can be extremely stressful and exasperating. Hopefully, our tips for getting through divorce when your partner doesn’t want a divorce can help you survive this particularly hard phase in life, while at the same time, keeping your time, money and sanity intact. Once you’ve got your partner to agree to divorce, you can proceed to choose a divorce method that best suits your needs and circumstances.