The divorce is over, or may be nearing an end, and you’re thinking to yourself, “What now?” This is a new chapter in your life, but what exactly does that mean for you now? How do you begin to write that new chapter? Unfortunately, the MyDivorcePapers divorce forms specialists aren’t licensed divorce coaches or therapists, but we do have a few ideas to help you kick start your new life.
Cleansing the Palate
It would probably help to begin this new phase without reminders of your ex. After all, your ex is a main part of the life you are trying to make a clean break from, so why would you keep reminders of your failed romance around? Well, you might if you’re a glutton for pain, but this is a new chapter in life, so you can decide to no longer be a glutton for pain from here on out.
If you’re at a loss for where to start, then here are a few ways to complete this ex-detox. Just remember, this is not about revenge, or about your ex; this is about taking charge of your life and reclaiming the power position in your life.
Spring Cleaning: No, you don’t need to wait until Spring to deep clean your house and rid yourself of the residue your ex left behind. If you like, think of this after divorce period as the Spring of your life; it’s a time of renewal, rebirth, and sunshine. Go through your home and round up any belongings your ex so graciously left behind, and get rid of them (we recommending donating instead of throwing things out of windows). This could include presents from your ex, items you bought together, and other reminders. Also, take this time to redesign and/or redecorate your living space to your liking. Reclaim your space!
Detox Your Social Media: Yes, this is the 21st century, and the majority of breathing humans have some form of social media account. You’ve cleansed your living space, so now cleanse your cyber space. Change your relationship status, your profile picture, and if you think it’s necessary, delete pictures of your ex. Also, if there are mutual friends who aren’t so mutual, why not just put those deadbeats to rest? It’s not rude, and unless they enjoy cyber-stalking you frequently, they probably won’t even notice.
Date Yourself: You were in a relationship for who knows how long, and you had another person’s likes, dislikes, feelings, and schedule to live around; all of that is exhausting and distances you from yourself. Now, you need to spend a little me time to become reacquainted with yourself. Me time does not include activities like lying on the coach in sweats with a pint of ice cream. Me time should be spent out and about actively; take a walk, go for a run, sign up for yoga class, go out for lunch, or take a book to a café.
Exorcising your ex from your life is not a cowardly or evasive move, it’s a healing move. You had a life with a person, but that life has ended and it’s time to move on. Just like when a person passes away, you go through their belongings and sort things out; you may donate the majority of it, give things to loved ones, or keep a few mementos in a treasure box. If you would like to save a few keepsakes, that’s no problem, just as long as you don’t do anything unstable with the keepsakes, like make a shrine in your closet. Enjoy your new space, and who knows, you might even find yourself in it.