Need to reduce relationship stress? You’re not alone. In the lifespan of any great relationship, there will be peaks and valleys. There will be times of great happiness and others of depressing tension. It’s common to get bored or put out with your spouse, but that doesn’t mean you should file for divorce. Instead try these six helpful tips for reducing the stress and getting your life together back on track.
1. Fight smarter.
Fighting — or disagreements if you like the sound of that word better — is a natural part of any marriage. The difference between fights that end marriages and fights that actually strengthen them is in how you do it. If you’re always reacting to each other instead of responding to the issues themselves, then you may have a problem. A fight or disagreement should be about getting to the heart of the matter together and then working on solutions. Not hurling insults at each other and trying to “win.” If you’re doing it right, there are no winners and losers, only solutions.
2. Take constructive criticism to heart.
There is a difference between constructive and destructive criticism. Constructive criticism seeks to build you up. Destructive seeks to dominate you and take away your power. Often, the difference between the two is in attitude and delivery. If you can trust the motives of your spouse, be open to what they have to say. There’s no weakness in it. But if your spouse is calling you names or the type of person, who can’t listen to constructive criticism about themselves, then it’s impossible for them to give it as well.
3. Get to the one, true reason for your stress.
The inability to reduce relationship stress usually stems from not knowing what the real issue is in the first place. Find it and deal with it, and the relationship problems will likely take care of themselves.
4. Be encouraging.
The more positive things you can do and say for your spouse, the more likely they are to return the favor. When encouragement is reciprocated, it becomes much easier to build a strong relationship that is able to survive the storms and thrive afterward.
5. Have adventures together.
Don’t get so wrapped up in your routines and day-to-day pressures that you forget to have fun, to date, and to get lost in one another. The longer you go, the more dangerous boredom and familiarity can be. If you always have something to look forward to, these factors, which can be poison to a relationship, won’t have as much of an opportunity to take hold.
6. Don’t be ashamed to seek help.
Too many marriages break up and leave at least one of the parties wishing they’d done more to address the issues that existed between themselves and their mates. Try not to give up on your marriage until you’ve asked yourself the question, “What if?” What if I had paid more attention or attended counseling when she wanted to? How would things be differently now? There is no shame whatsoever in admitting you don’t have all the answers. Swallow your pride if the opportunity is there, and seek help from a pro.
Are you going through a rough patch in your relationship? Are you having difficulty finding ways to reduce relationship stress? Share your thoughts in the comments section.