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What are your opinions on second chances? Has your partner cheated on you, lied, or neglected you? Do you feel hurt, betrayed and scared? It’s normal to be angry and let those feelings dictate your next actions; whether it is filing for separation or even divorce. So what are the advantages and disadvantages of second chances? And when and why should you consider a second chance with a loved one?

There’s no right or wrong answer to this, but there are a few guidelines that can help you know whether a second chance might be worth a shot.

According to eHarmony.com, second chances are hard because you realize “how important it is to protect and take care of yourself, and you know there comes a time when you have to be wiling to say enough is enough.” Here are some of their suggestions on when to consider giving your spouse a second chance.

1. There is a good possibility of change. If both of you are willing to make the sacrifices and hard work necessary in order to make your marriage work, and you both truly believe that things can change for the better, than it may be worth it to give a chance to a loved one and working things out. Just make sure both of you are on board for the hard work it will take to make things right.

2. The benefits outweigh the odds. Are you dissatisfied with your marriage, but happy with certain aspects of it? Do you enjoy being together as a family, but hate the constant fighting between you and your spouse? If so, it may be worth it to consider giving your spouse a second chance. Do you know how important it is to compromise with your loved one? Try and find ways to work out the bad parts in your marriage, and focus on the good parts that are keeping you there.

If the benefits don’t outweigh the odds, or there is no possibility of change, you may want to consider that giving the person a second chance isn’t an option. So when do you know when and why not to consider a second chance with a loved one? Here are some more clues.

1. They have repeatedly betrayed you. Is your spouse a serial cheater? If they made a mistake one time, it’s up to you whether to trust them again. But if it’s a repeat offense, what makes you think anything is going to change? They have a problem that has nothing to do with you. Whether it is compulsive lying, cheating, or habitual spending sprees, there’s no point in sticking around.

2. You have been emotionally or physically abused. An abuser cannot get better during counseling. They cannot change their ways. They may reform for a while, but will inevitably fall back into their old habits. Why do this to yourself and your children? Be confident in your decision to find the happiness you deserve and get out.

Of course, there are other reasons to stay or leave a bad relationship, but these are some of the top signs. According to FoxNews.com, if both parties are willing to do the work, “communication can improve, you can learn to handle conflict better, cheating can stop (if a one time thing), and you can learn to reduce misunderstandings.”

Only you can figure out if it’s worth it or not. Only you can decide why you should consider a second chance with a loved one, or why you should not consider a second chance with a loved one. One of the most common divorce topics is second chances, and whether they can be tried before you take the next step. Note too, why second chances are appealing after a divorce. Being lonely and afraid is no reason to jump back in with your ex. Concentrate on your reasons for leaving, and make the best decision for you and your family.

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