Getting cold feet is a good sign that you should not commit to a relationship, according to a recent study from UCLA. Researchers found that more people filed divorce forms and fewer reported self-satisfaction when uncertainty was present from the very start of a relationship or marriage. This news begs the question: how do you know when you shouldn’t be with someone? Here are five warning signs that your fears are justified.
No Physical Attraction
The chemistry between two people may feel like a very trivial thing to concern oneself with in the beginning, but it is actually more important than you think. Surprisingly often, couples make the mistake of committing to relationships where physical attraction is weak (at best). Reasons for this are many. One partner may be suppressing their true sexual urges, while another may simply not have as intense of a sex drive as the other person, or may not be as adventurous or willing to experiment.
You Don’t Respect Each Other
Sometimes physical attraction may be present, but you find it difficult respecting your partner. Perhaps you don’t like their occupation. They complain too much. They have annoying habits that start to grate on you. Respect can break down in a number of ways, and that’s why it’s never a good idea to rush in to a marriage or relationship.
Different Beliefs
If you’re physically attracted to someone and you respect their convictions, but still have cold feet, then it may be because you have different values. Perhaps they are atheist and you are Christian; or you disagree with how one particular faith should be practiced. (This is common in Christianity.) Beliefs may not seem like a big deal in the beginning, but they will eventually become an issue, and that’s why there is always a degree of apprehension to marrying someone with different values. Don’t ignore it. Address your issues upfront to save trouble later.
One Partner Depends Too Heavily On The Other
Another big cause of cold feet is when one partner depends too heavily on the other, and that dependency is not reciprocated. This puts a great deal of pressure on the more independent partner and animosity can start to develop.
Long Distance
In today’s social media culture, more and more people are starting relationships from a distance. While that can open up a world of relationship possibilities, it can also cause a number of concerns. Long distance relationships have long been a breeding ground for cold feet, and while they’re not impossible to navigate, they do require significant one-on-one time together before those fears can be alleviated.
If you’ve already filed divorce papers once, then you know how difficult it can be to shake those feelings of cold feet. Still, don’t let it stop you from opening your heart to another person. Just proceed with caution and be mindful of the things that bother you.