What makes divorce so hard and why is divorce so stressful? We all know that the process of divorce isn’t a simple task. So what makes divorce so complex? Admitting that your marriage is coming to an end it a difficult thing to accept and it’s the primary reason why divorce is so hard. Even if you know that the benefits of leaving a toxic situation outweigh staying stuck, it is still an anxiety producing, life changing decision. Although many people know they are unhappy in their marriages, they avoid divorce simply because they are more afraid of facing the unknown.
The good news is that there can be an exciting and fulfilling life waiting for you after divorce! However, you must acknowledge and learn to cope with the most common challenges of divorce that people face living in new and uncharted territory. Here are a few of the most common changes you’ll experience after making the decision to start fresh.
1. Learning to adjust to life as a single person.
Human beings are creatures of habit. According to Elite Daily, a survey concluded that people would rather stay in an unhappy situation that is familiar, rather than venture into new territory, especially if children are involved. We don’t enjoy being alone because we are social creatures who enjoy other people’s company. If someone is older, divorce can be even more difficult. The prospect of dating again or even living in a one bedroom apartment can be daunting enough to stay stuck.
The good news is that there are plenty of positives about being single again. You can discover your inner talents, hopes and dreams that you never pursued during your marriage. With the many ways to meet new people that include online dating, you can find someone later on who complements you better. Surround yourself with friends or join a support group to meet new people who understand what you are going through.
2. Being financially independent.
Maybe you are a stay at home mom who hasn’t worked in twenty years and aren’t up to speed on the many technological changes in the field you used to work in when you were single. Perhaps you are a father who is fearful that you won’t be able to afford child support, and is concerned about having to get another job on the side. Making your own money for the first time can be very difficult.
Luckily, there are many job training programs which are geared towards helping people venture into the workforce who have taken a hiatus. Though it may take some time, you will eventually find a career that suits you. Perhaps you will surprise yourself and end up pursuing a long lost passion! Furthermore, a great legal team can also help you get the financial support you are entitled to from your divorce.
3. Letting go of the guilt and anger.
Perhaps you are angry because of an infidelity in your marriage, or were the one who committed it and feel terribly guilty. Perhaps you feel dread at having to tell your children that your marriage is over. Even though you are unhappy and have been for some time, you find yourself looking through old wedding photos and remembering happier times. Inwardly, you may feel as though you failed and don’t deserve happiness.
Human beings aren’t perfect. We all make mistakes and we learn from them as we go on. If you have done something you regret, make amends for it the best way you can. If there are children involved, try to keep a healthy partnership with your ex by putting your children first. Jot down the reasons why you are leaving and look at them every day until you know that you’ve made the right decision. Finally, if children are involved, make sure to spend extra time with them and know that they will recover from their anger over the divorce. Eventually, they will be happy that you are happy, and will learn what a healthy and unhealthy relationship means.
So what makes divorce so challenging? It all comes down to fear of the unknown. Though there are many other challenges that newly divorced people face, these are the most prominent fears that keep people stuck in a bad situation. Just remember the great saying that, “the greatest thing we have to fear is fear itself,” and use some of the tools listed above to finally pursue the life you deserve.