Every month we see something new unveiled that will cause us cancer. Some type of food, or a new certain chemical; new studies that contradict old studies tell us things we shouldn’t be doing because it’s going cause us some hardship down the road. Confusion and not knowing what or who to trust is part of life and when it comes to social behavior it’s no different. Raising kids, relationships, and marriage all have a million how-to’s to tell us what we need to do to succeed. There is also an infinite revolving list of things that cause break-ups and divorce. With that thought in mind let’s look at some prominent things that have been known to cause divorce, but really shouldn’t.
The Long Commute Home
Not that traffic jams and long commutes don’t already wear our patience razor thin, now they apparently cause splits within marriages. A recent study took a look at the effects of long commutes to and from the workplace, and concluded that a commute of 45 minutes or longer raised the risk of divorce by 40%. The study combed data over a 10 year span and looked at how the extended day left less time for relationship bonding and long term happiness. One redeeming quality for commuters in the study was that they made more money.
Only One Spouse Working
In today’s economy, this can be an especially critical aspect with the financial strain and effects this can have on a married couple and the prospects of them staying together. When both spouses work it relieves financial tension. In an interesting sub note that speaks directly to the ego of man, it was has been shown that marriages or relationships in which women make more money than her male counter-part often has a less likely chance of being successful and staying together. In the opposite end, women who don’t work often end up feeling trapped and unhappy in the long run, while the male counterpart may end up resenting them.
Care of the Career Your Choice
This may be something that is somewhat out of our control as it happens, but has an effect on the relationship path we may take. Careers and jobs can often suck up a large portion of our life; this can leave little time for cultivation of relationships and family starting. This isn’t necessarily just limited to high-end jobs; waiters, bartenders, and police officers all work long and unpredictable hours, often adding more than the average amount of strain and less time needed to put into a successful relationship.
At least planning your career contains some amount of control on your part. Planning for a successful relationship or marriage is an exercise in futility. Listening to every psychological and social study about what causes what, and what not to do ultimately is an exercise in futility. As free thinking and logical beings, we are gifted with the ability of making cognitive decisions. Planning for every single thing in a life full of surprises and chaos, especially when it comes to relationships and families, is no where near possible. Truth and communication, while broad terms when applied to marriages, will ultimately help you and your loved one stay focused on juggling all the facets that make up the portrait of personal happiness and hopefully avoiding the chaotic process of filing for divorce.