From the headline you may think this is about to get a little steamy, but we promise to keep it PG. Because so many people decide to file for divorce because their sex lives aren’t what they want them to be, we felt it necessary to address sex in a marriage from a mature and practical standpoint.
First off, sex is absolutely important to the survival of a marriage. But before you read on, check all of your preconceived notions at the door and don’t try to compare your sex life to the one that popular culture creates. Once you’ve recognized it for the unique thing that it is, it’s time to apply these three essential sex-related tips.
One: Sex Is Not A Weapon.
Do not use sex as a weapon or a bargaining tool in your conflicts and arguments. If you do, you will cause resentment and retaliation and it all ends up in a vicious cycle that destroys the self-worth and eventually leads to divorce papers. Realize that it’s your job to work out issues independent of the sexual relationship. It should never be involved in the fight itself.
Two: Don’t Keep Score.
If you do start tracking each time you have sex with your partner, you’ll probably start comparing it to what other people are doing on television or in novels or movies. These are all unrealistic depictions of what a healthy sex life is in the typical marriage. In order to make it work out, you need to accept the responsibilities pulling you in other directions and instead focus on time management. Start making time for sex whether it’s in the morning before you get out of bed or on a date night. Relish the intimacy that you have with your partner even when you’re not engaged in sexual activity, and when you do have time for it, it will be better than you could ever imagine, whether you’re doing it a few times a week or once every two weeks.
Yes, the sexiest thing you can do for your marriage is simply communicate. Talk about your needs with your partner and come to an agreement you both can respect. Communication is key, not just in improving your sex life, but also in helping you to avoid the divorce forms.