When a person decides to file for divorce, it can be rather difficult to think about the future. After all, the one that you had planned is no more, and now you have to get used to a new reality. In business, people create 5-year plans to stay on track and work steadily towards their goals. So why not try the same thing with relationship recovery?
It’s not a terrible idea, but there are a few caveats.
First Of All, It Can Suppress Emotions.
Sometimes people start too soon on their 5-year recovery plans after the divorce papers are final. They don’t take the time to grieve the loss of their marriage and end up closing themselves off emotionally. While they may feel as if they’re making progress, they’re really just burying their feelings deep down, and that always comes back to haunt them later in life. Emotional baggage is not a healthy thing with which to deal, and it’s counterproductive to moving on.
Secondly, It Can Heighten Feelings Of Failure.
If your 5-year recovery plan is that you’re dating someone seriously in the fourth year, but then that time comes and you’re still single, you could feel like you’ve failed. When it comes to matters of the heart — especially when divorce forms are part of the equation — it’s best to be careful how you “plan.” Only you can make yourself a failure; but that’s more likely when you’re setting unrealistic or forced expectations for yourself.
Finally, It Can Cause You To Rush In To Things.
That fear of failure that motivates you in life, can also work against you when it comes to setting a 5-year recovery plan for your divorce. As a result, you may end up taking jobs or entering into relationships or financial decisions that are healthy and unwise. By giving your heart a wide berth, you will have a better ability to make decisions that are best.
So Should You Have A 5-Year Recovery Plan?
Yes, as long as you can set realistic goals and demands on yourself. But first, give your heart time to heal. Let it come naturally, and you’ll know when the time is right to create one and start hitting those milestones.