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Keep Divorce and Infidelity Away from Relationship

Keep Divorce and Infidelity Away from RelationshipVicki Larson from Divorce360 recently had the guts to say what few marriage and divorce experts do. Basically, that it’s impossible to keep your marriage from being invulnerable to affairs or the divorce papers. According to Vicki, we just need to stop listening to anyone who is willing to tell you this is possible.

Here’s a thought-provoking passage from Larson’s article:

“… you can’t affair- or divorce-proof a marriage because you can’t control another person’s behavior, you can only control your own.

“There, I said it. In fact, I’ll say it again: You can’t control another person’s behavior, you can only control your own.

“I can hear the protestations: “But, shouldn’t I learn how to communicate better, shouldn’t I plan date nights, shouldn’t I appreciate my spouse, etc.?’ Yes, yes, yes — it’s wonderful to do all those things and more, but not because you’re hoping it will keep your marriage on track or prevent something bad from happening; you do those things because you want to be the best person you can be, period. No expectations attached.”

Vicki is right about this. You cannot guarantee that your marriage won’t end up in one of you deciding to cheat or file for divorce. But you can give yourself the best opportunity to avoid those situations by doing all of the things she mentioned above. However, we would also add one more protection to the mix: choose your spouse wisely. How do you do this?

Firstly, Don’t Rush In.

You know the saying: “Fools rush in.” That’s very true when it comes to marriage. While appropriate timetables differ depending on the people involved, you generally know if you’re rushing something. How do you know? Well, have you stopped to consider what your significant other’s core beliefs are? Do you know their religion (or lack of)? Do you know what they believe politically? Do you know what they do for a living, how important it is to them, how passionate they are about life? What about character — how do they act when the rest of the world isn’t watching, and how do they treat not just you, but other people? If you lack honest answers to all of these questions, then you’re probably rushing things.

Secondly, Know How Invested Are They In The Relationship.

Do they make you feel special every day, or do you feel like in their eyes, the “new” has worn off things? If a relationship is going to be “affair-” or “divorce-proof,” then you AND your significant other will need to do things each day to show that you are in love and committed. If not, then there are no guarantees with regard to the divorce forms.

Do you think it’s possible to keep your marriage from succumbing to an affair or ending in divorce? What helpful tips have we not mentioned? Share in our comments section.

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