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Custody ModificationWhen you and a spouse file for divorce but still have to be co-parents to your children, the opportunity for conflict can continue. While it’s ideal that a child have both parents in his life following the breakup, that isn’t always a good idea. And sometimes the judgment that was decided upon finalization of the divorce papers isn’t always the best judgment for the remainder of his childhood. That’s why we’ve put together a quick list for when it’s okay to pursue custody modification. Here’s what we recommend:

  • When a parent relocates
  • When the child’s physical or emotional health is in danger due to the actions or behaviors of a parent
  • When legally bound visitation for the non-custodial parent is refused by the custodial
  • When the child is much older, and no longer has the same set of needs he did at the time of the agreement
  • When a parent goes to jail
  • When a parent dies or becomes incapacitated such to the degree that the original terms of guardianship are no longer in the best interests of the child
  • When a parent has remarried someone that is abusive or in some way puts the child in physical and emotional danger
  • When one or both parents are guilty of substance abuse
  • When one or both parents’ living situations are no longer stable

Of course, just because the terms of custody have changed, that doesn’t mean the child will be happy with the arrangement. Kids are very forgiving of their parents — at least in the beginning — and even though the terms of custody may switch to more heavily favor you, don’t take that as an opportunity to heap abuse on the child’s other parent.

Remember, there was something you loved about your spouse once, and whether that love is still there, your child is 50 percent them. A knock against their parent is, in a roundabout way, a knock against them. And even with the best of intentions, your opinions can do damage to their self-esteem and well-being over the long haul.

If you and your spouse have finalized the divorce forms, do your best to honor the terms of custody, whether you agree with them or not. However, should you notice any of the above circumstances, make sure you act quickly to maintain the best interests of the child.


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