There is a stigma of failure that follows one around after they file for divorce. The idea that you said, “Till death do us part,” yet here you are, single again, can be a hard one to overcome. But the longer you go after the divorce, the more you realize that these preconceptions are really misconceptions. In other words, divorce does not equal failure. Here’s why:
Firstly, It’s Not The End.
Failure implies, “I give up.” As in, “I will no longer try”; as in “I’m incapable of improving my situation”; as in “Life will not go on because of the decision I’ve made.” You get the picture. In no way does signing divorce papers affirm any of these statements. Unless you refuse to go on living, or stop trying to find happiness, you’ve still got a life to live and a world to conquer. Don’t get trapped into thinking otherwise.
Secondly, It Relieves You Of A Losing Situation.
When one feels compelled to sign the divorce forms, they’re obviously in a losing situation. The potential that they have is being squandered on a relationship that breeds negative thoughts and self-abuse. Having the power to get out of that situation is a success.
Thirdly, It Clarifies What You’re Looking For In A Partner.
With the failure of one relationship, you have the gift of hindsight. You can see what went wrong. What your mistakes were, and what the mistakes of your partner were. You know what you will tolerate and what you won’t, and you know what you’ll do differently the next time around.
Finally, It Focuses Your Definition Of Happiness.
This is an extension of number three, but deserves its own attention. By surviving a bad relationship, you have the opportunity to redefine and focus your definition of happiness. You’re essentially in a position of advantage to those marrying for the first time because there are fewer surprises. You know what makes you happy. Sad. Angry. Fulfilled. Now all you have to do is go out and get it.