A new study reported by the Huffington Post has revealed that more than one in three Americans fear ending up alone in spite of the fact that most have been/are in committed relationships.
The survey was conducted among 2,000 participants and was conducted jointly by TODAY and AOL. In it, 40 percent of women said they had this fear while 35 percent of men shared the concern.
“It makes perfect sense that there’s a fear of being alone or missing out,” said relationship expert Sahaj Kohli in comments to HuffPo. “Especially since we were biologically and evolutionarily created to find the right partner and reproduce.”
Mind/body expert Dr. Eva Selhub, an instructor at Harvard Medical school, adds this warning: “If you do not have a strong sense of self worth or believe that you are enough on your own, you will certainly fear being on your own and you will likely give up your power to the person you believe ‘completes’ you … The truth is that no one and nothing can complete you.”
So What Are You To Do?
If you fear that divorce papers may one day be in your future, or if you just have a phobia of being alone, the best things that you can do to stop either from happening are:
- Take some time to truly get to know yourself: Spend time alone pursuing interests or moving deeper into established hobbies. Don’t worry about finding someone. Worry about having a good time when no one’s around.
- Date people you can be yourself around: If you feel like you’re always having to walk on eggshells around the person you’re dating, then you need to end the relationship immediately and stop wasting yours (and their) time. Relationships are hard enough work when you know one another and are comfortable in your own skin. Not being able to connect on a basic level pretty much guarantees you’re heading for the divorce forms.
- Don’t lose yourself in the relationship: Too many individuals form fit parts of their personality to the whole of the relationship rather than holding on to their individual sense of identity. In fact, 29 percent of adults in the survey mentioned above admitted they lose themselves in relationships, with men being 31 percent guilty of doing so compared to 28 percent for women. Hold on to your sense of individuality, and the relationship will be healthier because of it. And if you still end up deciding to file for divorce or break it off with a partner, then at least you’re one step closer to finding Mr./Ms. Right.
