In a recent post for NakedDivorce.com, the site went over its ten rules for the Divorce Grieving Cycle. These included the following: denial, anger/betrayal, panic/negotiation, humiliation/fear of failure/looking bad, despair, loss/grief/depression, space/nothingness, acceptance, responsibility/forgiveness, and gratitude. While you may never experience all of these when signing the divorce papers, the more ground you can cover, the better off you’ll be. Today, we’d like to take a look at a toughie: humiliation and fear of failure.
A Natural Progression
It may not seem like it as you’re going through it, but the truth is, humiliation or fear of failure is a very common, very acceptable occurrence provided you’re willing to move past it.
We invest a lot of ourselves into a marriage and when it fails, we fail (or so we think). When we’re going through the turmoil — usually anywhere from a month to a year or two after the divorce forms have been finalized — we think that no one else in the world can relate to what we’re going through.
Of course, this isn’t the case, and there are statistics to prove it.
Most Divorce Is A One-Sided Wish
The commonly cited divorce rate of half of all marriages ending in one party deciding to file for divorce may or may not be reality. But in our own studies, we’ve found that of the divorces that do occur each year, about four in five spouses would prefer reconciliation, and only one party truly wants to press through.
That means there are a whole lot of people feeling the same way that you do on their way to recovery.
How Do You Overcome It?
Action is the only way. You’ve got to place a time limit on the length of time you’re allowed to wallow in misery. And as soon as possible, you have to get back out into the world and live your life.
This can be accomplished by allowing your friends and family to help, by dating again, and/or by taking yourself out of your current situation and shaking things up.
Some good ways of doing that? Engage in a favorite hobby, go on a vacation to somewhere you always wanted to go, or start a new business venture.
Do all of these things while committing to a healthier lifestyle in both diet and exercise, and before you know it, you’ll be moving past this unpleasant stage of divorce and on to something more constructive and fulfilling.
I sw husband he moved in with girlfriend I have all the four children she didn’t want them in her house he said he will not sign because he wants half of house furniture I told him he took his share new car new Harley bike tv mustang 68 pawn $5000 weddind rings lost everything got repose so he said I owe him he is lying he left $1000tool at hm n I gave away he is a monster I took 401 to put Thur school truck driver I’m paying 400/mo in check at work I have all bill he left never help pay my house what do I do if he wants more n will not sign