It’s been said that you cannot escape the specter of your ex once you decide to file for divorce, provided there are kids involved. The theory is that you will have to stay in constant contact, making each other miserable till child’s graduation do you part. But the reality is that you can take your ex out of your post-divorce life, with or without children, so long as you stick to the following guidelines.
One: Don’t Let Them Play You.
Sometimes after the divorce forms are final, your scorned ex might try to play games with you to get under your skin. But here’s the thing about games — they won’t make it very far if there is just one participant. While you cannot control what your ex will do after the marriage is over, you can control your response (or lack thereof as need be) so instead of worrying about what they’re up to, you should focus all your energy and efforts on how you are going to respond. And your response needs to be a constructive one. You can’t just retaliate or the game will continue.
Two: Use Technology To Take Yourself Out Of Fights Before They Start.
Once the divorce papers are final, many exes will still carry the flame, so to speak, but since the love is gone, there is nothing there to restrain it. As a result, that flame can become a roaring blaze of conflict. The easiest way to remove yourself from it is to utilize technology to make certain situations easier. Many services have cropped up online where you and your ex can communicate via an online system, setting up pickups and drop-offs and exchanging messages only when it is absolutely necessary. Some judges might even force people with children to use this type of system if the expectation for conflict is high. Thank them if they do, because now your ex knows that he or she is being watched. Most of the time, that will cut out the shenanigans.
Three: Don’t Respond To Their Texts Or Calls Unless It Is ‘Just Business.’
Once your divorce is final, there is absolutely no need for chit-chat. If the two of you can still be friends after the divorce, good for you, but most can’t, even if they think they can. It’s far better to keep all communications on a limited in-person or texting basis. But if your ex tries to do or say one thing to take you away from the business at hand, ignore it. Eventually they will get the idea.
What are some ways that you’ve been able to remove or minimize your ex from your post-divorce life? Sound off in our comments section.