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Post-Affair Recovery PlanFew things can be as devastating to an individual as having their spouse cheat on them. In fact, affairs are often so devastating that people give up on the marriage right away and file for divorce. While no one could blame you for filing if it happened to you, however, it is possible to bounce back from one and develop an even stronger marriage. All it takes is a recovery plan.

What Should An Infidelity Recovery Plan Do?

No recovery plan will stop the divorce papers from being filed if it ignores direction. You wouldn’t take a major trip without some concrete idea of where you’re going, and if your marriage is to survive infidelity, then you and your spouse have to know where the plan is headed, along with all stops along the way. You both must be invested in saving the marriage and accomplishing goals to rebuild the trust that was lost.

But Is Rebuilding Trust Really Possible?

When you first find out about the affair, the answer is absolutely not. Luckily, we’re human beings and if we’re doing it right — being human, we mean — there is a resiliency that allows us to move past the present traumas and toward a more optimistic future. So yes, rebuilding trust is possible, but it requires a lot of hard work.

From the cheating spouse, it means being transparent about what you’re doing, thinking, and feeling. It means being more committed to honesty and openness with your spouse than independence. If you cheat but still want your spouse to stay with you, you’ll have to get used to living with distrust, and you’ll need to do everything in your power to change it if the ultimate endgame is to turn the tide.

On the other hand, if you’re the spouse who was cheated on, you can’t spend the rest of your life second guessing everything your spouse does or says. No one can blame you for not trusting at first, but if your spouse is making concessions and working hard at transparency, you need to grow with them, and that means learning to trust again.

So What Should An Infidelity Recovery Plan Look Like?

Two things: transparency and forgiveness. They’re not things that can be established overnight, but if you both are committed to them, you’ll never have to file those divorce forms. Whatever you decide, best of luck in your marriage or divorce.

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