In a recent article for Huffington Post, contributor Aunt Becky for CafeMom’s The Stir detailed the eight signs that it may be time to take a break from your relationship. Most of the signs that Becky shared are usually indicative of problems in a marriage and can be factors in the decision to file for divorce. However, one that stood out may have its exceptions.
No. 5: You sleep in separate bedrooms. Very few couples can survive living in separate bedrooms for very long. It’s not healthy, and very little good can come of it.
Before calling this option in to question, it’s important to note that we’re not saying Becky is wrong. Separate bedROOMS can be an indication of a chasm between two people (unless she’s pregnant and you’re disrupting her sleep too much). Even if your rooms are adjacent to one another, the emotional distance that exists can be pretty vast. However, separate beds is a completely different story, according to new research.
Why It May Be Better To Sleep Apart
AskMen’s Chris Illuminati notes that sleeping in separate beds can actually reignite the sexual spark between two people because it’s “like she’s not supposed to be there and vice versa” whenever you do share the bed together.
Illuminati notes that it’s a way for a partner to remind himself (or herself) why they’re with the other person, and that it returns the excitement to a relationship that may be sputtering.
And there’s research to back up Illuminati’s claim that sleeping apart can be better for both parties, thus keeping the divorce forms option off the table.
According to a study from Toronto’s Ryerson University, 30 to 40 percent of couples sleep apart at night.
The Huffington Post, in an earlier article, reported comments from Colleen Carney, director of Ryerson’s Sleep and Depression Laboratory, saying, “People will say they sleep better [together], but when we actually monitor their brains we see that their brain is not getting into deeper stages of sleep because they’re continuously being woken up by movement or sound.”
HuffPo also pointed out that earlier research confirmed sleeping in a bed with a partner can be bad for one’s health. “One British study found couples suffer up to 50 percent more disturbances when sleeping next to someone than sleeping alone,” the site noted.
While sleeping in separate bedrooms may very well be a poor decision, that doesn’t mean sleeping apart is without its advantages. For couples slogging through marriage, it may very well reignite a spark, provide deeper sleep (and better health), and stave off the urge for filing divorce papers.