The circumstances under which you decide to file for divorce can vary greatly from relationship to relationship. Specifically when betrayal is part of the equation, it can be so difficult to keep your cool and not do something rash — something that may cause years of fighting even long after the divorce papers have been finalized. However, even in the toughest circumstances, it’s a good idea to keep it together and not let frustration get the better of you. Here’s why.
One: Civility Can Rid You Of Stress.
We make bad decisions when we are angry. Those bad decisions lead to undue stress that further complicates the healing process. You’re far better off swallowing your words and plowing forward with the end in mind, rather than dwelling on what your spouse may have done to instigate the divorce.
Two: Civility Can Save You Thousands.
The difference between an attorney-led divorce and filing the divorce forms yourself is significant. While most attorneys will tell you that divorce is expensive “because it’s worth it,” is that really true when you end up developing an ulcer and losing thousands of dollars in fees when the whole process can cost less than $200 for the paperwork, plus whatever your county charges as a filing fee?
By staying civil with your spouse, you can prevent emotional escalation and expensive fighting.
Three: The Impact Lessens On Your Children.
Around 52 percent of the cases that we see come across our service have one or more children involved. The more bitter that fighting between spouses becomes, the more difficult it is for children to put the trauma of divorce behind them. While your soon-to-be ex may have done something to boil your blood in the present, try to remember that they will always be your child’s parent, and that it’s likely your child will always love them no matter what happened in the marriage. It’s just the natural order of things. By not staying civil, that places the child in a position where he or she feels like they’re being asked to take sides.
While it’s certainly not easy staying on good terms with your spouse throughout the divorce process, it can save you a lot of money and years of frustration if you’re capable of doing so. While most marriages should start with this “big picture” mentality in mind, so should most divorces. Good luck!