When going through a divorce — even if it’s a low-conflict online divorce — many individuals can make a mistake that sets them back years in their search for happiness. They don’t pay proper attention to the emotional complexities of the situation they’re going through and instead opt to “move on with life” in the worst way possible:
They Date Too Soon.
It’s tough to determine when “too soon” is, even when (or especially when) you’re in the situation. If you’re the person who had divorce papers filed against them, then there is usually a feeling of rejection that cuts a little deeper than if you are the one doing the filing. It’s very tempting to find someone new immediately and put the remnants of a failed relationship behind you as much as possible. But this is the last thing you want to do.
Because You Need Time To Grieve.
The grieving process is not something reserved to how we deal with the death of a loved one. When a marriage falls apart, it is very much like a death in the sense that we become an altogether different person than the one that we were going into the marriage. There are a lot of hopes and dreams that crash when the marriage does, and so there’s nothing wrong with taking some time to have a good cry or grieve in some other healthy, do-no-harm way to your self and others. Grieving takes time to do properly.
It Also Takes Time To Get To Know The New You.
When you immediately begin dating after the divorce forms are final, you are destined to choose someone in the same emotional likeness as your past spouse. That’s a mistake because there’s a reason your marriage failed in the first place. Regardless of who’s fault it was, there was something about the dynamic that didn’t work, that probably wouldn’t work if you married the same kind of person 100 more times. And not taking time to get to know yourself and what your new reality, your new expectations, are following the divorce can only repeat the cycle.
Take some time to get comfortable with the new you. Grow as a person before stepping back into the world of relationships. It may mean that you live with heartache for a time, but in the end, you’ll emerge a stronger person.