Anyone who’s decided to file for divorce knows that it can be both the most painful and the most liberating experience of one’s life. Sometimes people file to get away from an abusive or philandering spouse; sometimes they file for financial reasons; still other times, people just grow apart. Whatever the cause, it takes some special qualities to survive a divorce. Here are the most essential.
One: Courage.
You’re not going anywhere near the divorce papers without having courage. That’s because for all its faults, a bad marriage is still predictable and in its own way, stable. It’s the devil-you-know as opposed to the one that you don’t, and that’s before you even get to the settlement and the reactions of loved ones. When you make that decision to file, you’re turning the world you know on its head. What emerges could be better or worse — either way, it’s frightening.
Two: Patience.
Divorce makes otherwise rational people react in irrational ways, particularly if they don’t want to break up, or they’re so angry they just want to cause harm without any consideration for what it will mean over the long haul. Additionally, many states have a long waiting period, and so you’ve got to continue with your life in a state of flux and uncertainty until the final judgment is rendered. Without patience, it would be impossible.
Three: Reason.
To finalize your divorce forms at minimal damage, you’ll need to be reasonable. That means conceding some things in order to get a judgment you can live with. Courts are designed to reach equitable decisions, and that means deciding what is best for all parties involved, not just you.
Four: Perseverance.
Not everything will go your way in a divorce action — at least that’s how it is most of the time. To survive, you have to take the good with the bad, and that involves perseverance, or the ability to make the best out of bad situations.
With all of these internal qualities, divorce may still be hard, but it will lead to something positive — namely, moving on with the life you envisioned for yourself.
I want to get a divorce from my husband and I just moved to Ohio so I could get away from him cuz of the threats he tells me. And I don’t know how I have to live in Ohio to get a divorce here