So you’ve decided to file for divorce due to a spouse’s infidelity. Right now you’re probably thinking that you’re done with relationships for the rest of your life. Most of us who’ve experienced this feel the same way. And while love doesn’t necessarily come back around quickly, it is possible to find your footing once again and open up to another human being. There are just a few steps that you will first need to take.
For a while you’ll feel like hiding from the world and not opening up to anyone. Great. Do that, but don’t go overboard with it. You need to be guarded when the wound is fresh and you’re still in a state of vulnerability. Without that cautiousness, it’s too easy to fall for the first person who reminds you of your ex, and that’s not something you want to do. After all, there’s a reason things ended the way that they did and you were forced to file the divorce papers. Replacing that person with another one just like them will only lead to more heartache.
Secondly, Work On You.
It’s easy to lose yourself after the divorce forms are final. You may be in such a state of depression with feelings of rejection and embarrassment that you start to think there’s nothing there that anyone would find attractive. Of course, this is ridiculous. Someone cheats because of weaknesses in their character, not yours. You are fine. You just have to put forth the effort to reconnect with yourself and enjoy who you were before you started living for someone else. This is the time to go out with friends, pursue old (or new) interests, and take chances you’ve never taken before.
Thirdly, Learn To Forgive.
Forgiving your ex isn’t about reconnecting with them. You’re not even doing it for them; you’re doing it for you. By letting go of the anger and the hurt that they’ve caused, you’re sure not to inflict unfair expectations on the next person who comes along. In other words, you judge new people in your life based on who they are, not based on the sins of someone else.
Infidelity is hard to recover from — or at least it seems that way at first. But the moment you realize that you’re a unique and valuable person worthy of love and attention, you’ll be back on track before you know it.