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Divorce RemorseDivorce remorse is not at all uncommon among couples, who call it quits. Doesn’t matter if you’ve gone through an easy online divorce or you slugged it out with your ex in a courtroom.

It’s only natural after committing so much of your life to another person to second guess whether you’re doing the right thing by going your own way.

Ask Vicki Gunvalson, one of the stars of Real Housewives of Orange County, who decided on filing for divorce from husband Donn in 2010. In recent comments to Huffington Post, Gunvalson confessed she had “a lot of divorce remorse.”

“I mean I really, really do … In hindsight I wish I would have worked harder on the marriage. I think I messed up on some areas and he messed up too. It takes two people to get married, it takes two people to get divorced.”

Gunvalson continued: “It stinks to get divorced, especially when you still have feelings for that person. I will always love Donn, I met him when I was 21 and got married when I was 32; I’ve known him my whole adult life,” she said. “He’s a great man, we just drifted apart and couldn’t figure out a way to get back together.”

If you’re currently experiencing divorce remorse, here are some things to remember to get you through.

1. Don’t misinterpret the meaning. 

Many people experiencing divorce remorse make the mistake of backsliding into dependency on their mate. While reconciliation is not impossible, trying to do so shortly after the marriage means you’ve got a pretty rough road to hold. There’s a reason — and probably reasons — you decided to learn how to file for divorce. Those reasons don’t go away in a short period of time. Live your life, and move forward, not backward.

2. Avoid jumping into a new relationship. 

Look at the Gunvalson case. Vicki and Donn’s marriage split up in 2010. It’s now 2013, so both parties are probably safe to move on with their dating lives. But if Vicki was having divorce remorse just a few months after filing for divorce, then it would probably be a bad idea for her to even think about getting serious with anyone. And doing so would likely mean she just wasn’t comfortable with the silence of being single. And when you’re not comfortable with silence, you’re probably not comfortable with you, which means it’s not a good time for a new relationship.

3. Keep the past in the past.

Realize that whether you do an easy online divorce or go through a tough custody/property battle, the people you are two years from now will be completely different from the people you are today. Keep the past in the past and work on your relationships moving forward. You may always be bound to your spouse through children, so you need to be able to work with one another and co-parent. Try to keep any past wrongs from ruining any future rights.

If you’ve filed for online divorce — or have been thinking about it — don’t be surprised if you experience divorce remorse. But don’t give in to it either. Plot a course for happiness and grow beyond it.

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