Ending a marriage is never a smooth experience. Even if you use an easy online divorce process like what we offer here at MyDivorcePapers.com, there are issues and emotions you’ll have to work through if you hope to move on with life and get another chance at love.
Huffington Post recently asked readers to weigh in on when they knew they’d found love again after ending a marriage. Responses varied, but the recurring ones started to form a pattern of lessons on finding it after losing it.
If you ever want to give your heart to another person — and right now, you may think that you don’t, but give it time — you’d be well-advised to listen. Here’s what these divorce lessons can teach you:
To Learn From Mistakes.
Reader Charlotte Botha, after filing for divorce, used her fresh start as a chance to reevaluate what she looked for in a partner, stating that she was “extra cautious” and that her second husband was a “complete opposite” from the first (and “a far better person”). Many times the best thing you can do after a marriage fails, is to recalibrate what you look for in a partner. Think about what it was the other person did to contribute to the divorce — and about the bad they may have brought out in you — and conscientiously look for someone, who is the “opposite” to which Botha was referring.
To Choose Someone Who Makes You A Better Person.
Frau Wyler knew it was time to give love a chance when she realized that “he loved me despite all my emotional baggage and attempts to sabotage the relationship.” While you shouldn’t force your future mate into the shadow of your old one, it can be difficult not comparing the two. When the new person actually makes you feel like you’re a better person, helping you find sides of yourself long forgotten (or perhaps that you didn’t even know existed), then you should do whatever it takes to hold on to that relationship.
To Submit To Full disclosure.
By full disclosure, we’re not saying you’ve got to share every detail of your life with your next partner, but you should be able to be yourself — quirks, warts, and all — without feeling like you’re going to rattle that person to their core should they see you in action. Kerry Ivers said as much when she told HuffPo she knew she’d found “the one” when she could be herself “and didn’t feel like I was walking on eggshells.” If you ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells with a potential mate, then you’re clearly not ready to have the type of intimacy that leads to a successful relationship with that person. While there is some “getting to know you” time customary in a relationship, if you haven’t made progress in a significant period of time, then you should reconsider.
To Find Someone With Whom You Can Have Chemistry Outside The Bedroom.
Finally, HuffPo reader Jackie Wood knew she’d found something special after her divorce papers had been signed when she went on a one-on-one camping trip the second month of her new relationship. “We both got out of the car and set up camp like we had been together for 30 years. It was and is awesome 14 years later!” If the only chemistry you have with someone is in the bedroom, then it’s probably not a good idea to pursue that relationship. Knowing another person so intently you can do things to make them emotionally happy without having to be asked; being able to pick out a birthday gift you know they’ll love; setting up that tent the way Jackie described — these are all examples of true chemistry, and exactly what you’ll need to find love again.
Have you found love after divorce? If so, how did you do it?